I Don’t Feel Feelings Properly, Part 2: Vulnerability and Control

dogs snugglingThanks to all who liked and/or commented on I Don’t Feel Feelings Properly, part 1. You are excellent and wonderful.

A common theme seems to be only allowing emotions from the outermost level of the circle, presumably the least intense level. It begs the question – why don’t we allow ourselves to access the inner layers? What prevents us? What do we think will happen?

We really can only speak for ourselves, so for me, it’s about vulnerability and control.

There is a direct correlation between the strength of an emotion and my perception of controlling it, aka the stronger the emotion, the less control I feel over it, especially in public settings. Think Incredible Hulk.

My solution was, and is, to simply not allow myself to feel the stronger emotions – I focused more on the negative, but with the negative went the positive. Now I don’t need protect myself from any strong emotions as it seems I’ve blocked everything.

Of course, I say this just weeks after feeling reasonably suicidal, but that’s a different can of worms, agreed?

This all then begs the question: How do we start feeling feelings properly?

Plutchik-wheel-color-wheel-emotions

6 thoughts on “I Don’t Feel Feelings Properly, Part 2: Vulnerability and Control

  1. One thing I have learned is timing. When things happen and I allow myself to rationalize the emotions and find a solution ,or not, but allowing that time to process the intense feelings has taught me not to react right away to negative situations but allow myself to feel the pain or hurt and then make sense of it. It takes practice and time but it works.

  2. Pingback: I Don’t Feel Feelings Properly, Part 2: Vulnerability and Control | Mental Health, Politics and LGBT issues | Scoop.it

  3. Pingback: Feeling Feelings Over 200 Posts « anxiety adventures

  4. Pingback: Trouble With Words and Being a Step Behind « anxiety adventures

  5. Some people don’t allow themselves to access the inner layers of their emotions because they have Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD. Many don’t even know it because they are either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, many times with Bipolar Disorder. BPD can be effectively treated with Dialectical Behaviour Therapy or DBT.

    Find out more here: http://makebpdstigmafree.wordpress.com/

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