Bernard enjoying Brooklyn Heights in the snow
I finally started preparing for the GRE (grad school entrance exam)…though studying for less an 90 minutes a week might not count as true preparation.
It started when I was streaming the Superbowl on my computer and had nothing to occupy my hands and brainbox. Studying is going better than expected, mostly because I expected to have a panic attack as soon as I opened the book. Strangely, writing this post about studying is making me more anxious than actually studying.
The thing I need to keep in perspective is:
I’m an employee of the university and they aren’t going to deny me to the program. The results of the exam are ultimately meaningless; it’s just a hoop through which I need to jump.
The things I should try to think (but won’t/can’t) are:
- Doing poorly on the test doesn’t make me a stupid person.
- This is not a validated test of intelligence.
- The more relaxed I am, the better I score on the practice questions.
The recurring thoughts are:
- If you get less than a 165 (out of 170), then you failed.
- If you don’t do well, then you are not a smart person. If you are not a smart person, then you are a stupid person. Stupid people don’t deserve success in any life area.
- If you are proven stupid, then everyone will think less of you. You will think less of yourself (if that’s even possible.)
- If everyone thinks less of you, they will treat you differently and you’ll be more alone.
- If you’re more alone, you’re going to die “alone and [be] found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.”
The good thing is that I realize this train of thoughts is crazy..and half-believe that it’s crazy…so I can somewhat calm myself down by telling myself those thoughts are crazy. That’s progress, ladies and gentlemen.
Also, sorry I’m behind on reading your posts and answering your comments. You are all fun and nice.
MBC
/ February 12, 2013Everything about school is stress for me. At the same time it’s exciting to learn and that trumps the stress. Good luck on the test!
anxietyadventures
/ February 13, 2013I agree that learning trumps the stress. I have a couple more weeks to study before the test, so hopefully I get more relaxed about it as time passes.
Thanks for the support!
Red
/ February 12, 2013Best of luck on the test!
anxietyadventures
/ February 13, 2013Thank you!
Claudia
/ February 12, 2013I’m glad you visited my blog. I was trying to remember which blogger photographed the gnome, so I could mention it on my Macro Monday post. I went back and mentioned your blog on that post.
Good luck with the masters degree!
anxietyadventures
/ February 13, 2013Thanks! I loved your post. Good luck with Yoda!
maddsuspicions
/ February 13, 2013Hi, good luck for the test!
anxietyadventures
/ February 13, 2013Thanks thanks thanks!
Sanna
/ February 14, 2013I used to teach a GRE prep course – if you have any specific concerns or questions about studying for the test, I might be able to give a few pointers. Good luck!
anxietyadventures
/ February 15, 2013Thanks! I might be in touch with questions!